Emotionless.

Assalammualaikum!

Hello dearest people. Alhamdulillah finally I have time to update a new story on my blog. Ekceli i'm not busy like a Prime Minister, it's just that now is Ramadhan so I don't have time to play. From morning to night, I need to do lots of important things sooooo yeah hihi. Well, today I wanna share my opinion er not really an opinion but more to expressing what I feel right now due to the surrounding.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

Nowadays, people around me keep on talking about Love. Their main topic is Love. So yeah, me as a teenage girl of course feel excited when it comes to love. I force myself to stop reading any love novels before this but now, I read them back. I just wanna feel the excitement when you got to know that guys out there admire you. But then, few weeks later, I feel like I've had enough. All the pain I've been through due to love, and all the novels that have the same plot but different names of the heroes and heroines make me sick. Totally sick! I feel like

" no. I don't think I have the strength to fall for anyone right now. I mean this is too much. Love everywhere. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't even digest the word " love " right now "

Yeah, I've reached that stage where I don't bear to hear the word love, I don't have the nafs to look at guys, I hate seeing love quotes I mean every single thing that involves love, I hate it. Totally! I'm weird yeah thankyou. It's not that I refuse to accept this kind of phenomena lol betul ke sentence? Haha. K but serious. It's not that I don't want it but it just happened. All of the sudden, perasaan benci, menyampah, meluat and banyak lg mula bermaharajalela dalam hati. Plus, love is not everything. There's no eternal love anyway accept for the love between you and Allah. Apart from that, you have lots of things that you need to do so why must you think about something that will lead you in wasting your time? Something that isn't necessary? I would love to be a girl with zero feelings. Doesn't have any feelings towards any guys until the right time datang. I would love to be called as a Stainless steel girl. Because when I look at my surrounding, I feel like it's such a burden to have a special friend when you're still a student since you need to focus on your studies and make sure that every exam you will pass with flying colours. It has been a long time since the last time I fell in love. I don't really know how it feels. I've forgotten almost everything because yeah I don't really have many good memories about that. Yes I admire many people including people's voice lol but loving someone? Only once in my life and I think it's more than enough. I learned lots of things. The bad and good things. Trauma? Hm sort of. But actually, the fact is i'm afraid. I afraid if that guy will hurt my feelings. I'm really bad when it comes to handle emotions. So mengelak lebih baik daripada menyembuh. Anyway i'm still a kid lol!

Sincerely,
Atiq.

Assalammualaikum.
P/s: this entry is more to myself and obviously as a reminder for me. MayAllahBless!

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